Sunday, 6 December 2015
Chinese Wonton Eating Monkey Land #1
Deep beneath the leaves of the forest, the core of the earth, there are creatures that no one else has ever heard about: Chinese wonton eating monkeys. Chinese wonton eating monkeys look just like normal monkeys, except they have furry moustaches that stick to their face and don't curl up at all. They also have dry, messy beards. The reason they have moustaches and beards is because they are born with them and they can't be bothered to shave. If they did shave, they would just be normal monkeys. Did you know that actual monkeys shave in private? I’m pretty sure you're thinking ‘what? Who rules these weird weirdos?’. I can easily answer that. The name is Sophie Watt. Before any chinese wonton eating monkeys came here it used to be just wontons, before some monkeys found out about the place, and… Bam! They were attracted. It was that moment that they became the Chinese wonton eating monkeys! This whole story takes place in my house, president Sophie Watt’s house.
I wake up and look out my shiny, silver window. Laying bemy eyes are the guest houses, some normal and some strange, like the smooth, splintery pineapple for if spongebob ever comes to visit. Since it covers my eyes so much, I can barely even see the small, stone library. It's so tiny that you would be surprised if I say it has millions of books squished into it. In fact it has every single book on earth in it, except they are all changed a bit so that they are based on monkeys. There are also ten copies of each of my favourite books. Like, under the forest (Under the mountain), Monkey Eekfort (Ruby Redfort), The Morris Gleitzman series, Once, again etc etc, and Monkey of green wontons (Anne of Green Gables). You can probably understand why I'm so proud my world. I mean, wouldn't you be? But still, there is more to say about this world of greatness!
A bit further away, where lots of monkeys gather in memory of the day when Sophie Watt became president at this amazing land, is the tatty, old grand tree of honour. Although it is very old and tatty, it is still the most important parts of the whole island because this was the first tree that their president planted. It is one of the reasons Sophie got elected president. This is why: Sophie Watt was elected president because chinese wonton eating monkey land had nothing anywhere before she became president. The place was completely empty. But Sophie Watt promised to make the island interesting and a better place. When she got elected she went straight to it, and the first thing she did was plant the grand tree of honour. It has been around for 10 years! The height of this tree is 10 metres, which basically means that each year it grows a metre taller, compared to other trees that probably grow about 10 centimetres a year! The grand tree of honour is located in the exact middle of the citizens houses which is basically a big green, leafy, decorated forest. Every tree grows wontons instead of bananas.
“Master” Matty the servant interrupted, “The weather has forecasted an explosion in 2 minutes!” Matty looked so completely worried and was shaking like the world was going to end (at least his world was about to end). Even his moustache curled up and that's the first time in history that any chinese wonton eating monkeys moustache has ever curled up, and this world has been around 1000 years!
“Just calm down” Sophie Watt said calmly “And look at the great view, enjoy it”.
“Okay, I guess,” yawned Matty, “if I have to, master.”.
“Look at the lush green park, with swaying trees contrasting the rusty playground. The one that I placed there when I got elected president. You know Mason Buckingham and Aryan Biala? They created that minecraft/clash of clans land over there. The really strange place that doesn't have any wontons because all they care about is building blocks.”
“Master” Matty started, but Matty was interrupted after that one word. There was a loud, ginormous bang. Straight away everyone died except Sophie Watt.
“Oh well” Sophie Watt said carelessly “I should have listened to Matty in the first place”. Then suddenly the ground underneath her blew up, and guess what? Yeah, I know what you are thinking… And all the chinese wonton eating monkeys lived sadly ever after under their graves. Yeah, pretty much the opposite of Disney.
It was found out that the reason it all blew up was because another war filled monkey land was planning to create war because chinese wonton eating monkey land were chinese and that they like wontons. So you could say two things about the other monkey land. One: They are all racist, or Two: They love bananas so much that they will try to create war with any place that doesn’t love them.
So the story doesn’t really make anyone happy. I guess I should share this with my mum (she hates happy ending stories).